The Child Thief by Brom
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

"Wow what the hell did I get myself into? I certainly was not expecting this at all. If you were thinking that this was some lighthearted Neverland tale you've picked up the wrong book."




"I'm delirious, and I can't believe half of the cum-fuckery I just read. I'm a little past chapter 7 now. No absolute way in hell. Wow dogs playing with the Moss man's intestines! Tasty!
Mr. Brom I can now say I am officially scared shitless. Thank you, and I hope you sleep well because I sure as hell know I won't!"

Just finishing up with chapter 11: Laughing hysterically. Jenny Greenteeth just called Modrin "a cold dead cunt!" "Barron fertility goddess."
So what exactly is Peter? Is he a changling? Is he half-fairy? What? What is he? Hell the elves even say he's a mystery!



Quiet a brilliant passage came from chapter 12.
“Christians. They’re determined to rid the land of any who worship the Horned One. Murdering all the druids, burning the temples, sometimes whole villages, and knocking over the standing stones.”

The Lady’s face hardened. “This god of peace and love certainly likes to bathe the land in blood.”

I got extremely confused during this section because it was so whimsical, and it didn't really go along with all the blood and gore so far. This was a really key point in this book, and made the whole book's tone.
Where the hell did this court intrigue come from? OOOppps that didn't take long to get back to this.



Damn that got nasty! Peter just effing lost his mind turning into a metaphorical animal. It seems that he has a some sort of thing ripping ears off, and spitting them onto the ground.
So he gets banished from the Lady's garden and lands to live with a Troll!

(okay so when I think of a troll this is what I see in my head.)


Sorry but I never imagine the Harry Potter Troll from the first book. There is quite delightful news though. I'm not stark raving mad as of yet. We will see after I finish chapter 15.

Beginning of 18. Wow Lord Ulfgaurd completely lost his shit, I can't believe this! This guy just defecated his ancestor's tombs.



End of chapter 18. Oh hell yeah! Way to go Nick! Just for that you're getting this little dance. It's right to stand up for yourself, even though there's definitely going to be some consequences later.



Now that I'm completely finished I'm just in awe that the masses of sheep haven't found this book. Maybe they wouldn't be so zealous of spouting their religions onto others. I'm sure from now on that I am going to make sure I'm going to recommend this to any Bible/Quran thumping bigot. A good dose of cruelty due to religion will make them see that death to those who don't believe what they do, isn't right. I could go on and on about it, but you know what's the effing use of doing that. If you really want to argue this point go effing read it yourself, and write your own review.

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“Go and play. Run around. Build something. Break something. Climb a tree. Get dirty. Get in some trouble. Have some fun.”

“Christians. They’re determined to rid the land of any who worship the Horned One. Murdering all the druids, burning the temples, sometimes whole villages, and knocking over the standing stones.” The Lady’s face hardened. “This god of peace and love certainly likes to bathe the land in blood.”